Thursday, February 28 2008 02:48
I bet all you parents out there go through the same problems I do when it comes to your kids art work. What should I throw away? The obvious answer is, of course, all of it, but that's easier said then done. Let's face it, kids are probably the most fantastic salesmen. We get these kids running over to us, out of breath and excited as can be, saying, "Daddy, Daddy! Look at this picture I made for you." You half expect to look down and see Mona Lisa eating at the Last Supper the way they're jumping around. Now here in lies the problem.
This picture was made especially for you and more times than not the picture lacks basic construction and the perspective is usually very random (see piece of crap). The other part of the equation that is problematic is that your child will usually stand there waiting for praise for the picture no matter how many glasses of wine you've had or how many beers. They will stand there the same amount of time that it takes for them to identify the crude images they have haphazardly slammed onto the poor piece of paper and then they disappear like a fart in the wind. That picture is now dead to them for all intents and purposes...until...they find it in the trash.
Now, if I kept every drawing/coloring my children did I would be sifting around hip high in construction paper. This also sends the wrong message to kids I believe. Should they think everything they've ever made is amazing? No. This gives them a false sense of confidence and soon this would lead to complacency in their technique. Before long, I would be getting crumpled Kleenexes and wet paper towels in place of drawings. I don't want that, I thought about it and I think I deserve better. So, I usually decide from a series of set criteria if the drawing or art project is 'drawer' worthy. You see, I have a night stand drawer that is absolutely jam packed full of kid art work that my wife would stuff into the nearest trash can as fast as you can say, 'Sale at Ann Taylor.' I am more of a softy, so I am usually the one that rescues their art from abandonment. I recently was given a piece of art work from my four year old and I thought it was worth posting because it exhibited some of the most useful characteristics I look for in 'drawer' worthy piece of art.
**note these characteristics are for drawings only, do not use these for art projects**
- Does the art work contain at least one monster? 1 point per monster
- Does the art work have a picture of Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc? 1 point
- Does the art work have one character from Winnie the Pooh? 1 point per character
- Does the art work have random math? 2 points per random math problem
- Does the art work contain a beanstalk? 1 point per beanstalk
- Does the art work contain unfinished art? 1 point total (if more then 3 unfinished objects or characters, begin deducting points)
- Does the art work contain unintentional profanity? 10 points per word (most important part of a child's art)
Now, I was stunned when I saw that all these requirements were met in my daughter's most recent work. On the grading scale I have provided she scored an astonishing 17 points! That was a new record in our household, beating the previous 10 she tallied for her infamous "ass monster." See her art work below.
I can only hope that this article is helpful to at least one parent out there. It isn't art because they said so, it is art because you said so. Drive-thru.
If this article spoke to you on some level--share it and gain favor with Joeprah.
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Thank you for the laugh and for the help in sifting through children's artwork. I'll bookmark this so when the day comes that my child finally utters the words, "Mommy Mommy look what I made for YOU." I'll know where to file her work. ;-)