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miscarriageI think most people view miscarriages as something that only affects women, I know I did. I didn't let myself grieve or really examine what had happened because everyone rallied around my wife. It wasn't until months had passed that it hit me-like a ton of bricks.

We were almost three months along and on a vacation with the family when my wife told me that something wasn't right. It was just before noon when she started to notice blood. We raced home and the doctor sent us to the hospital for an examination and even though there was a lot of "spotting" they weren't overly concerned-we were though. My wife knew something wasn't right and her doctor told her to rest although there was nothing she could do if she was about to have a miscarriage. We Google'd it to death and found little comfort in a similar consensus-if she was about to have a miscarriage there was nothing we could do. That night she felt increasingly more ill and finally had to get in the shower to battle nausea and stomach cramps. It was just shortly after she got in the shower I heard her scream for me-it sounded very bad.



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The one thing about having three kids that is most difficult from a logistical point of view is leaving the house. It is sometimes impossible to get out the door and off to where you need to be on time. To kids it is always a big surprise, “What? We are leaving now?” The thing about having three is that one kid can get lost in the shuffle. When it was just Bella and Mady, I had Bella follow me around while I got Mady ready to go out the door—there were no loose ends. After Sophia came into the picture, it became more and more difficult to keep track of the other two as I took care of Sophia. One common scenario would begin with me getting Sophia’s shoes and coat on and me asking the other two girls to get their shoes and coats on. It is very difficult to watch what each child is doing at this moment and because of this things go wrong. Invariably, as I collected the other two girls and made my way for the door, I would notice that one of the girls had used this brief window of unsupervised time become unready. Instead of seeing a child ready to go, many times I looked down only to see a girl in a princess dress-up gown, or a naked girl or a girl that has just poured juiced all over themselves. 


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I have heard some dads say that they remember the birth of their first child most vividly, but I can’t say that is the same experience I have had. I remember the birth of all my daughters intensely. As for the birth of Sophia, what I remember most was her stature. She looked a lot more blue-collar then our first two girls. She looked muscular. She even had shoulder hair—dark, weird shoulder hair. Sophia, like our other girls, was absolutely beautiful from day one. She, also like our other girls, was small. Only 5 pounds 15 ounces at birth, Sophia was certainly on the smaller side.   



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  Toddlers can't be bargained with

With so many changes to the traditional work environment and with the economy tanking, we are seeing a lot of families make the choice to bring daddy home. So, if you are a dad out there considering becoming a SAHD, I am here to scare you straight. It is tough being a full-time parent. I, personally, think it is more challenging staying home with kids then it is to work. This series is intended to show potential stay at home dads the reality behind the choice to become a full-time parent. 

Today’s Topic: Toddlers and Babies are like Terminators
 


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